http://020515leekyusang.blogspot.kr
Grade
According to the rubric above, what grade would you give this essay? Why?
This essay deserves a three. The perspective is easy to understand.
How does this essay need to improve to get a better grade?
The research needs to improve. There are lots of ideas his thoughts.
Thesis
What is the thesis?
There is no thesis statement but it is about unification between North and South Korea.Is the thesis clear and debatable?
If you (The reviewer) wrote this essay, how would you have written the thesis?
North and South Korea should reunify
Any other thoughts?
Classical Argument
Can you easily identify the 5 parts of the classical argument? If no, what parts are missing?
I think there is no missed parts. Introduction(1), narration(1), confirmation(1), refutation(1), conclusion(1)
Does the introduction catch your attention? Does it comfortably lead to the thesis?
The thesis claims theme of his essay , unification between South and North Korea and It also explains about arguments of both pro and con for his topic. I think it is a good starting but if there is stronger attention grabber, it will be better.( He said that ' For a long time, Korea unification has been discussed, but it was failed because there are lots of difference between North Korea and South Korea.' - if there are more informations, it will be great attention grabber.)
Does the narration give all the necessary background information to understand the topic?
Yes, but his narration is not reliable informations because it seems like his opinion.
Does the confirmation adequately support the thesis?
Yes. The confirmation claims why he agrees korean unification especially for three reasons. However, there is no enough and detailed data like statistics, it is hard to be persuasive.
Does the refutation and concession address a realistic counterpoint? Does it adequately dispute the counterpoint, or respond in a reasonable manner?
I think he catched great points of counterpoints however his refutation is too vague and not detailed because of absence of researches to support his reasons.
Does the conclusion summarize the article and address the larger significance of the thesis?
Yes. Especially, his quotation of saying is great and impressive.
What suggestions do you have for improving the classical argument structure?
If he adds researches about his topic to support his idea, it will be improved a lot.
Persuasion
When you started reading the essay, did you agree or disagree with the thesis?
I disagreed with the thesis.
When you finished the essay, did you agree or disagree with the thesis?
I still disagree with the thesis.
If your mind changed, why? What parts of the essay were persuasive?
I did not change my mind.
How could the author enhance the persuasive parts of their essay?
Spend more time to make concrete his essay.
Research
Is the author using research effectively?
Maybe not...
Is the research from appropriate sources?
Yes,..
Are the sources obvious?
Nope.
Are the pieces of evidence relevant to the thesis or essay?
Yes!
Are there any parts of the essay that need evidence to support the claims?
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